Dance of the venter and tarantella: the inner source of energy and beauty

When I was looking for ways of exercise to enhance my singing capacity by strengthening the diaphragm, Google suggested the dance of the venter. So, I started by reading this book of Flavia De Martino “the most ancient of the dances and its healing power”. This powerful and ancient dance, that can be considered the “mother of all the dances”, has been practiced for centuries from the habitants of the middle East and Mesopotamia. It was a propitiatory dance to ask the spirits for an abundant harvest, but also for preparing the women to the labor. In antiquity the venter was considered the container of new life, fertility, limbo, passion, coupling, love… all the environments where life is recreated, so, by definition, in contact with the divine. Moreover, though its challenging and difficult movements, it recreates an opening toward the divine, because the magic of the feminine energy brings within itself curative powers. Contrarily to the common belief, this dance was born not to entertain or satisfy men, but as way of amusement, communication and storytelling for women. Being able to express themselves with dance was something holy that expressed in positive way the feminine eros and created a holy “bridge” between the women and the divinity. The women that were belly dancing were thus finding a subtle energy to open a passage upwards. Perhaps, in association with the holy venter of the mother earth, it was danced by a single individual, whose expression of feminine and story leads to spontaneous and natural movements. It is so sad that in modern days we had to renounce to that part of femininity, in order to embrace a more “structured” and “socially accepted” behavior. What would be in the future if all women of the earth will suddenly become slave of a sexist and chauvinist society as it is now? The number of women who still have prejudice about belly dance and consider it a “dirty” kind of dance no different than striptease, is still pretty high. Thankfully if we look back it was not always the case. On the contrary, in ancient Egypt the priestesses were dancing to enter in a state of total tuning with the cosmic energy, amplifying their powers, their intuitions and the perceptions, thus finally entering in a state of trance. They were depicted with raised arms, (similar to apulian tarantati, see next post) who entered in a state of trance by dancing frantically among other women. In both types of dances (apulian tarantella and venter) the goal is to enter in contact with our deepest “sixth sense”.

Dance of the venter originated in very ancient times in the Middle East: Egypt, Tunisia, Algeria, Morocco, Turkey and all Arabic countries. It survived and migrated from Egypt to north Africa toward Spain and from the Balkans to Anatolia and central Europe, maybe through communities of Gipsies (whose name reminds us of Egyptians). It is performed mainly by women and for women. It is an expression of: femininity, sensuality, vitality, freedom, indeed a woman can freely show fat or no fat. It tonifies shoulders, arms, breast, hips, thighs and mainly abdomen, and also increases flexibility, it improves agility and posture and strengthen pelvic floor, it prevents pelvic organ prolapse, during childbirth supports and guides the presenting fetal part, and helps maintain continence (both urinary and fecal).

Through this dance women gain consciousness of hidden muscles that they did not know to have. Finally, it burst our mood, self-esteem, and excavate our deepest emotions. Interestingly, in antiquity, the feminine genitals were considered magic and mysterious, full of energy and beneficial powers, compared to flowers, fruits or natural phenomena. See for example the Greek honey bread that still is reproduced in Sicily with the name of “Mafalda”. If you tried or want to try the dance of the venter you have to keep in mind that the basic posture is: first of all knees slightly flexed, next venter tucked in and shoulders relaxed. This position allows a smooth flow of energy from the ground, to the legs, to the lower back and to the arms. Or vice versa. The springing of the knees belongs to tribal and ritual dances of Africa and Native America: it is linked to mental and physical relaxation, it calms the nerves, reduces depression and combats the evil spirits. For the Arabs dance is a way of communication more powerful than language, is linked to pleasure and considering a dancing body similar to a divinity, is in perfect harmony with the cosmic energy. If both types of dances survived until our days, despites the society that consistently tried to ban them as “unworthy”, is probably thanks to the lower class people like farmers or gipsies.

For me belly dance, and folk dance in general, is a way to feel and therefore look beautiful. The smiles, the freedom of the hair, not to talk about the arms and my obsession with the feet, makes you feel amazing, without any cosmetic or any aid from modern props. Is just you and your body, that reveals itself profoundly hidden treasures. Everyone feels emotionally connected with their soul, after a dance, either tarantella or venter dance, and it gives the same energy of any drugs, good or bad, that modern society offers. Pizzica (aka ancient apulian tarantella), for example, should not be a dance of thinking about the steps and techniques, is better as spontaneous dance, where before I start dancing I close my eyes and I like to imagine myself coming out of one of these situations: sick in bed, infirm for days, constrained in a prison`s cell, or even in my mother`s womb. Pizzica is a dance of rebirth, this is what you want to dance after a disease or after birth, if you physically could. If you envision yourself in the shoes of the tarantate, you will feel connected to whatever problem they might have, and ultimately to whatever problems are afflicting you at that time. Without that deep connection, and that desire of break the chains, you will simply dance an ordinary dance with the pure meaning of entertaining. Pizzica is the most antique dance that we have in Italy and to dance it with the proper spirit we have to feel like each step is like a drumbeat sung by our foot on mother`s earth ground (heartbeat is the main sound a baby feels in the womb no?).

So, I want to believe that the drumbeat of the tambourine resembles the synchronized mother-baby heartbeat, which is the sound we hear from the time we descend from heaven to our mother`s womb. Her heartbeat passes to the placenta`s vessels like a drumbeat. For 8 months continuously we hear only that sound, if you calculate is about 27-28 millions beats. Then when we come to see the light of the world, we experience life in a whole new way. But this does not mean that we were not alive before. The darkness inside the mother`s womb is not the same darkness of hell, is darkness filled with a sound, a sound that we “see” in our early life with all our senses except for sight. We think we are blind, but we are more aware of everything else around us: of the Spirit, the Love, the Life, BECAUSE we are blind: the light of the world blinds us even more.

You can imagine why a musician or a dancer performing, a person meditating or praying, sometimes must close their eyes: to see better, to see better what is not visible, to see what is inside their soul, to see with inner eyes, to shut out the visible world. The first thing you feel if you close your eyes right now, I guarantee you, is your own heartbeat. Life begins at the moment where our heartbeat is not connected anymore with our mother`s one; but we can find that beat if we embrace a connection with our mother earth, our spiritual mother living in the earth, that little part of our self hidden in our soul, and the pizzica beat, or any other beat, does nothing more than wake up that inner beat that we all humans have.

Foundations for a healthy life to me are belly dance and pizzica. Our energy inside the body moves like water and never stops. It goes back and forth between the several organs. We need to act immediately (as soon as we wake up) on caring for each single cell in our body, just like the sleeping did for us during the night. We do not want to be thrown immediately in the daily routine without a 15-30` break between the oneiric world and the real world. The energy that flows from our lungs to the rest of the body is mainly concentrated and used by the brain and by the digestive tract. Thus, is important to remind ourselves of the connection between positive energy and good food habit. Tell me what you think about tis post and my healthy food habits chart, and thank you for reading!

what would you eliminate from this planet if you could?

After the horrifying news that a teen-age is brave enough to embrace a weapon and erase another human being`s life, I have no other feelings but fear ... fear of failure.
Fear that as parents we are all failing in finding the right place in this society for our children.
Fear that my own children could be the next victims of a non-sense OCD action.
her is my list of things i would eliminate if I could:

1) The positive attribute to the word "OCD". Americans tend to use acronyms for their words such that the real meaning is masked. OCD is an obsessive compulsive "disease". occasionally I hear people at work, or in the elevator state happily that they have OCD and expect for me (or others) to understand and embrace their obsession as a positive thing. This entire universe is dominated by chaos, and if they cannot accept the fact that people with this disease are only a minority, while all the others are perfectly fine in their chaotic environment, they need to take a deep breath and step back to look around them at the way everyone live their life. It is a false presumption and an act of arrogance to pretend that we all need to embrace and share each one`s OCD, because in different ways everyone has their own "fissazioni", meaning, things that you want to be done in a certain way, but nobody is so far ahead from reality to suffer if the social or working environment does not reflect their own fixations. Or I should say, only people whose OCD is pushed to the extreme can end up passing the limit of reality and disseminate terror around them.

2) The Saturdays off. I grew up in an island, beautiful and peaceful, where the only Holy day made to rest is the Sunday. Our school hours were Monday to Saturday 5-6 hours per day, with just a 20` break in the middle and lunch at home. No cafeteria, no junk food, no after school. Only me and some peaceful rest, while I was spending the rest of the afternoon doing my homework in literally 4 hours or less. I was pretty good in almost every topic, I was helping my schoolmates by giving private lessons and passing out my notes. It was easy for me to be the best in such environment. I als had a lot ot free time to enjoy and make memories with my friends. Then I experienced in college (at the age of 18 years old) the trauma of not being able to have my little afternoon nap before starting the mountain of homework, but have only the week end available to study. It was very hard for me to  keep up with 5 consecutive days of lessons in just two days of the week end, it was humanly impossible to have classes from 7.30-5 PM and go home and study the same day... so I was not able to pass more that 2 final exams that year and left 3 behind.
It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I still remember the sky and its grey muddy color and the cold that penetrated underneath my clothes while I was waiting for the bus...and also the couple of time i was up late to try to study resulting in falling asleep at the first lesson of the day in the big auditorium that was the Polytechnic of Torino.
Maybe not all of us have the skin to handle such rithm,  maybe some of us need to work constantly every morning and use the afternoon for their leisure. If I could make a big suggestion to this society i would say to leave us the choice to choose what kind of job we need: 5 days a week for 8 hours, or 6 days a week for 6-7 hours. I am Catholic and could not care less about working on Saturdays. And I believe that family in long term would benefit of having their children at home for the entire afternoon, with no need to worry about bad habits and uncontrolled after school activities.

3) A houskeeper. Dear mothers, dear working mothers, dear housewives... Do you truly believe that a stranger can take care of your nest, of your home, of your living place better than you? That is your own space, your territory, the place were memories are made, in the middle of whatever mess it is. It is the space that reflect your lifestyle, and if you and your entire family cannot keep up with the current choirs, than you all need to take a break from whatever you are doing, and start loving your home as a baby. Things need to be  in order and in the right place all the time for our brain to work properly, we all keep things where they belong at work and at school, so in the public places, why not in our  own home? are we really in so much hurry that dishes cannot be washed, laundry fold or bed always made? I feel a secret pleasure after i am done cleaning my house, is like fighting a war that you always can wind, is like turning the page of a project and restart a new chapter with blank paper to draw on it, is like making a gift to my entire family, telling all of them: I love you so much, here it is, instead of going to a beauty saloon, or shopping on line, i spent  my time for all of us to live in a neat, positive and stimulating environment. This is the feeling that I have every time that I accomplish all the task I desire. And my husband is very helpful in this tasks (maybe he likes to clean too). What happens if for a week we skip laundry or for a day we eat out and do not do the dishes? Nothing, simply the will be a message from the house to us, telling that it is time to slow down in something and take care of the nest first. No panic, no depression, no anger, simply embracing the chaos around us and translate it in one single message: Patience.

my re-born

It is hard, very hard to come back home after more than one year abroad.
I was afraid to don't find the energy to start again to work, the joy to see my new friends here, the passion for my job... but here I am, this is my 4th day in US. I feel completely rested and ready to start again before my second big vacation on Christmas.
I spent many days in Rome, Eolie island and Sicily with my beloved KE.
It was an unforgettable vacation, full of joy, sun, food, friend, fun, family, sea...
thousands of pictures and memories...
I know that KE had fun too, he was amazed from the beauty of Italy and Sicily, he said he wants to come back next years..

practising for the TOEFL

Teaching is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs. A teacher is a figure that follows the development of a person since childhood. In our Society it is crucial that, from the youngest ages to College, a teacher represents a respected figure even inside a family. His/Her opinion and ability to judge the profit of a student should therefore be taken in great consideration.
Of course not everybody is capable of meeting these expectations, and in our social system, it is equally possible to find good teachers as well as bad teachers. The statement proposed here says that the ability to relate to a student is more important than the knowledge of the subject being taught. Well, in my opinion this is totally true.

From the early years of my life, I had a figure very close to me, which shines above other teachers in my memories. This figure is like a recurrent Character throughout my entire career.

For example during my 5 years of elementary school I was particularly affectionate to my Italian literature teacher, and when moved to lower school I wrote about her in my first Italian essay. With that composition and the wonderful description I made of my previous teacher, my next Italian teacher followed and stimulated my writing skills so closely that for 3 years we had a unique and wonderful mentor-student relationship.

At high school level the same role was covered from my mathematical teacher, and my passion for sciences was therefore grown from his constant pushing me toward success. Now I am happily graduated with a doctoral degree in Biomedical Sciences.

 I still thank and remember those 3 critical figures in my learning process and I thank them for the excellent knowledge they passed to me, in addition to their humanity.

 Surely I remember also the other bad teachers that were not able to nobilite their profession with listening and sacrifice. I am pretty sure that the best reward for any teacher at any level is, and will always be, the fact that one of their students is able to live a life full of their thoughts and never-ending advices. A feeling that resemble a little bit a director of orchestra, who, after the final musical note, is submerged by the energy of a loud, grateful applause.

10 anni di illusione

Questa lettera la scrivo a me stessa

Mi trovo a lavoro nel posto piu` orribile del mondo.
La maternita` mi ha completamente cambiato la prospettiva di vita e
anche gli ideali in cui ho sempre creduto. I falsi e ipocriti ideali
di una missione umanitaria chiamata ricerca.
Non sto dicendo con questo che Gabriel e` la ragione del mio
fallimento, anzi e` la ragione del mio successo e della mia rinascita.
Finalmente mi sono caduti i prosciutti dagli occhi, e riesco a
guardare le cose con piu chiarezza. Vedo per esempio che sono
circondata da gente fannullona e fancazzista, che maschera la propria
motivazione sotto un falso aspetto da stackanovista. In realta` ognuno
pensa solo al prorpio tornaconto, al proprio successo personale, e
a niente altro.
La motivazione e` una di quelle parole che maschera lo sfruttamento e
misura quanto uno e` disposto a vendersi pur di succedere, implicando
a volte sia fregare gli altri, sia essere disonesti.
La scienza e` molto bella, peccato che ad alti livelli non e` piu`
bella ma diventa come una guerra, fatta di strategie e sotterfugi,
dove solo i furbi vincono. Ebbene si, perche` qui non si tratta di
sopravvivenza, ma addirittura di vittoria. Infatti un bravo scienziato
e` solo quello che "conquista" il primo o l`ultimo nome sulle 3 piu`
prestigiose riviste... e di tutti quelli che lavorano in mezzo? ne
vogliamo parlare? di tutti i poveretti che muovono i progetti
silenziosamente, a volte nell`anonimato, che rappresentano il motore
dei laboratori, senza i quali i grandi e piccoli progetti non
vedrebbero mai la luce... studenti, dottorandi, postdoc, assistenti,
tecnici ecc ecc.. Ecco io non posso piu` fare questo lavoro a lungo.
Per il momento il mio lavoro mi da un malessere fisico che non avevo
mai provato prima. Mi prende un senso di repusione per questo posto.
L`idea di andarmene mi rende cosi` felice che conto i giorni come il
militare.
Diciamo che ormai non ho piu` la testa, ne` la voglia di fare ricerca. Ti chiede troppo e non ti da` nulla, ma davvero nulla, solo
 merda in faccia e delusioni...
Purtroppo la triste verita` e` anche quella per cui bisogna sempre
andare avanti, e se non hai possiblita` o fortuna rimani bloccato per
sempre in una posizione che dopo un po`, come dire, ti sta stretta.
Tutti vorremmo non avere capi, tutti vorremmo lavorare per noi stessi,
e uno scienziato a maggior ragione persevera nel suo lavoro soltanto
quando sta cercando di scoprire qualcosa in cui crede veramente,
qualcosa che smuove un`adrenalina dentro che si chiama passione,
amore, motivazione..ecc.
Ecco la mia per la scienza era e sara` sempre una passione viscerale,
tale da farmi stare male quando gli esperimenti fallivano o farmi
toccare il cielo con un dito quando trionfavano.
Questa passione stava prendendo il controllo della mia vita, mi stava
succhiando l`energia, mi stava divorando...
Fino a quando ho incontrato la persona che mi ha regalato la cosa piu`
bella: la Verita`.
Grazie alle lunghe conversazioni e alle lunghe sere di pianti, Kurt e`
riuscito a mettermi davanti un quadro molto semplice e completo della
mia situazione: in questo ambiente ci sono pochissime possibilita` di
avere successo gia` a priori, poi se aggiungiamo il fatto che il mio
livello di preparazione non puo` e non potra` mai raggiungere quello
di altri colleghi, l`unica conseguenza e` proprio quella di un
inevitabile fiasco.
Dunque quale e` stato l`errore?
Innanzi tutto essermi fatta convincere a fare un dottorato che non
volevo solo perche` era immediatamente disponibile, e quindi non avrei
dovuto cercare lavoro. All`epoca volevo gia` cambiare posto, non
rimanere nello stesso laboratorio, ma non credevo in me stessa
abbastanza da potermi muovere all`esstero. E cosi` il primo
fallimento. Bene, allora do a me stessa una seconda possibilita`
andando a specializzarmi in un post-dottorato all`estero. Ed ecco il
secondo fallimento.
Avrei dovuto capire subito che era inutile insistere e investire su di
me come scienziato.
Semplicemente non funziona.
Sia Sara, che Mani non hanno sicuramente un buon ricordo di me.
Adesso so una cosa, a posteriori: che avrei potuto dare il meglio di
me ma non l`ho fatto, che non sono e forse non saro` mai capace di
alzarmi e difendermi, poiche` non ho mai lottato prima e anche ora per
i miei diritti. E chissa`, questo forse e` dovuto al mio DNA
siciliano, a secoli e secoli di sottomissione e rassegnazione.
O magari, solo nella mia famiglia, il fatto che i miei mi abbiano
sempre spinto ad eccellere credendo in me, mi ha portato a credere che
tutti attorno a me debbano per forza avere un`opinione positiva, a
priori...
Dunque non avendo dimostrato di essere in grado di sostenere lo stress
di questo lavoro ho preso la decisione di cambiare carriera e
dedicarmi all`ambiente clinico.
So che anche li` la competizione e` spietata e non ne vado fiera se
dico che sto buttando via 10 anni di studio e lavoro cosi`, ma del
resto devo dare a me stessa il tempo di adattarmi alla nuova vita di
mamma e moglie, e la ricerca questa possiblita` di rallentare un po`
non la da` di sicuro.
Ebbene, che la scienza vada pure avanti senza di me, non credo
qualcuno rimpiangera` la mia assenza.
Un suggerimento che avrei per il mondo della ricerca in generale e`
questo: smettetela di finanziare grant a progetti stupidi e
insignificanti che hanno scarsa o nulla valenza clinica. Le soluzioni
potrebbero essere qui di seguito elencate:
1) Figure professionali tipo Ispettori che sorvegliano l`integrita`
degli esperimenti dovrebbero far parte di ogni gruppo di ricerca.
Controllare i notebook, validare protocolli per tutti i laboratori,
uniformare tecniche e condividere tecnologie, analizzare e rendere
pubblici i dati positivi e negativi attraverso una fitta rete di
informazione. Questo sarebbe il lavoro dell`ispettore.
2) Dovrebbero esistere solo piu` i progetti finanziati dalle autorita`
che rilasciano grant, governative o pubbliche, e tali progetti hanno
delle metodologie e ipotesi gia` prestabilite. Diversi laboratori si
incaricherebbero di svolgere il lavoro e riportare i risulati ottenuti
all`autorita` che finanzia. E finalmente tutto lo stress associato
alla scrittura/sviluppo/sottomissione dei grant sarebbe eliminato.
Inoltre tutti i giochni sporchi che stanno dietro le pubblicazioni dei
papers verrebbero annullati, poiche`il successo di un laboratorio non
sarebbe determinato tanto da quanti articoli si pubblicano, ma dalla
produttivita`, intesa come numero di esperimenti conclusivi con esito
sia positivo che negativo. Per non parlare poi del fatto che gli
scienziati, cosi` restii alla collaborazione, sarebbero costretti a
condividere TUTTO, dati, idee, strumenti, reagenti, per una causa
indubbiamente superiore e piu` nobile della propria carriera.
E con questo concludo il mio sfogo.
E solennemente mando a cagare i miei 10 anni di amore cieco per la ricerca.
Agata

The theory of the parachute

There are 3 categories of people, if we imagine that life is lived on board of an airplane (where everything is transitory, unstable and in continuos movement) and in the bottom there are the several aims to achieve.
I don't see life as reaching goals that are on the top of a mountain, but as in the bottom of a dark valley, of which we don't know destiny, depth and difficulties.
Once we touch the bottom, we are forced to look for another goal, and therefore we go up on another airplane, ready for another launch.
Now I mentioned three categories:
   1) those who in order to reach an elevated number of aims, do not care too much to control their parachute, or to predict how much will be the duration of the fall, or what there will be when they will touch the bottom; they just throw themselves and don't think twice about it. Calmly, during the fall, they open their parachute and wait and hope that the moment of the impact son't be too traumatic. Once they tried, they stand up and immediately look for other launches, other goals, other impacts that give them satisfaction, that make them feeling alive.
   2) there are people who before making every launch check meticulously their parachute, they don't trust about people who came back from the previous launch saying that everything will be all right. These people here over-think about every detail, trying to control the length, duration and pain of the impact, and mostly, they control that parachute that they carry behind their shoulder: it is the only they trust. Therefore these people will spend their lives always on the board of the train, paralyzed from the fear to hurt themselves in reaching the goal; and when they decide it is the moment to jump, they open their parachute too early, inside the airplane, remaining trapped with no other way out.
   3) the last category is made of people who leave in a intermediate situation between the first two. These people are tremendously concerned about what will be the future and control their parachute meticulously, before each launch, but what it matters for them is not the number of jumps or aims achieved, but to taste every moment of the fall: from when they are leaning from the airplane to observe the bottom, to the moment where the feet touch the ground: every instant is important.
It is like this that these people remember the whole pattern and truly enjoy the result: they look out, watch around, feel their hearth palpitation more and more intense, jump, fly and maybe scream or laugh or cry, open their parachute, let themselves be transported from this confident burden and finally touch the ground safe and healthy.
The goal is achieved and nothing went bad. Once they touched the soil, they don't think immediately "what will be my next goal?", on the contrary, they carefully close again their parachute, put it on their shoulders and walk, walk until they will be ready. Some of them won't be ready anymore after one single jump (IInd group), other change and want obtain more and more aims (Ist group), and others stay with their feet on the ground and an upward gaze (IIIrd group), their trusted parachute always on their shoulder, ready eventually to climb on the airplane in order to relive the same emotions... or to just observe the sky and the time in front of them.

The rule of the 3 Rs

There are three categories of researcher:
1. Recommended, who are not particularly brilliant and succeed because of other people above them push a favorable wind in their interest;
2. Rich, who don't become scientist because they look for a job, for a way to support their family, but because it is cool, or because of passion, curiosity, glory;
3. Repugnant, who are very passionate but unfortunately let themselves be crushed from the desire to succeed, therefore they become repellent and solitary, plus they desperately need for funding for their projects.
I am probably turning into 3, a lonely hunter, looking every day for a way to solve problems, forgetting about people around me, that love me and follow me in every my crazy mood changing.
I wish to be either 1 or 2, but is not possible in this life, so I guess I have two choices at this point:
change job or change attitude, maybe originating a new cathegory:
4. Regenerated, who after experience a period in the third section decide that science and lab job is not everything in life, and only when it is done with moderation, without excess, is really helpful and fun.
Since this is my first night as single, after almost 2 years dating KE, I think I really need a big change in my life, before I loose whatever I really think is my true love...